If you think about it, parenting is a huge responsibility to all of society. It's not enough just to keep your kids safe and loved, educate them, and help them transition into self-sufficiency. One of the most important, meaningful, and never-ending aspects of parenting is inspiring your offspring to make the world a better place and play a role in advancing the human race. 

As long as you are breathing, you are either taking from the world, or giving back to it. Teaching your child how to give back is one of the biggest ways you continue to give back. As most parents know, what you do has a greater impact on your kids than what you say. They will be watching as you teach by modeling learning...say something important by listening intently...receive fulfillment by giving away your time and treasure to a cause greater than yourself...and make your voice heard by amplifying the voices of others. This isn't difficult to do, but it doesn't just happen on its own. It requires intention. And it's never too early to start.

Look for ways you and your children can listen and learn together.
Show your kids that learning is a lifelong process. Explore the world beyond your own gate. Go to museums; read books; pay attention to current events; learn about history, religion and cultures outside of your own. Forge relationships with others from diverse backgrounds. Ask grandparents to share stories of their past experiences and personal struggles. All of this enables your children to put themselves in other people's shoes and develop an empathy and compassion that is crucial to improving the world for everyone.

Model the behaviors you want your kids to emulate.
Demonstrate what it means to be a good citizen. Take them with you to vote. Talk to them about the electoral process. Describe your volunteer work. Tell them about the causes you support and why you chose to make them a priority. Discuss age-appropriate current events at the dinner table. Invite friends and co-workers from diverse backgrounds to your home and visit them in theirs when invited. Introduce your children to food, customs, holidays and traditions from other cultures. Read the paper and educational magazines both in front of them and to them. Let them witness your continuing education about the world around you. Share with them about a time you changed your stance on an issue after listening to the other side's arguments. It's important for them to see that beliefs and priorities can evolve as you continue to learn and seek out new perspectives.

Encourage them to get involved.
Plan a summer project or field trip your family can do around giving back to the community. Participate in family-friendly volunteer events. Encourage them to give gifts that support a cause or to opt out of receiving gifts themselves and instead set up a fundraiser for a cause near to their hearts. Support them in a run for student council office. Enroll them in scouts, youth groups, or other organizations that center activities around serving others. Share with them what other kids are doing and nurture their creativity in finding ways they can offer their own unique skills and talents to the world.

There's no shortage of examples, but here are just a few more of my favorites:

• Several years ago, my son's friend requested that guests to his 9th birthday party make a donation to the Wounded Warrior Fund in lieu of giving him presents. My son wanted to be able to give him a tangible gift in addition to the donation we made, so he used his budding journalistic skills to write a pretend "newspaper" article about what his friend was doing and why. He printed it out, framed it, and gave it to his friend as a memento of his 9th birthday and an expression of admiration for his friend's generosity.

 

• My two teenagers set aside a portion of their allowances each month, which they donate to the nonprofit of their choice during the holidays in honor of their teachers. My husband and I match their donations. This not only teaches them the importance of contributing to causes that are important to them, but also enables them to learn about various worthy organizations as they research where they want to send their money. 

 

• A family friend's young daughter wanted to find a way to help people she saw begging at intersections without merely giving them money. She and her mom purchased individually-wrapped snacks and other essential items and assembled care packs to keep in the car and hand out the car window when they encountered someone in need.

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• A few years ago, several members of my local community planned a family potluck "Diversity Dinner" for neighbors to get to know each other and celebrate the wide array of cultures represented in our local area. Attendees came from a broad spectrum of races, religions and cultures. Everyone was encouraged to bring a favorite traditional dish, as well as a canned food donation for the local food pantry, and to sit with someone they didn't already know. The kids each traced their hands on colored paper and cut the handprints out to become leaves on a community tree poster. The group then took a candlelight walk around the neighborhood, in which all neighbors were invited to participate to foster a sense of inclusivity. My kids each made new friends that night who attended their school but whom they hadn't previously met!

Every voice matters. Even the smallest effort can make the biggest difference to one person. Empower your children from a young age to become the change they wish to see in the world. Download and print out the Raise Good Citizens PDF to get started.

With a little bit of contagious enthusiasm and the desire to keep learning, growing and contributing, even raising good citizens can be easy peasy.

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If you're trying to establish more order and reduce stress in your life, one of the best places to start is with your car.

Why? The only thing worse than departing your house in a stress-filled rush is departing in a stress-filled rush in a mess-filled vehicle! Most of us spend more time than we care to think about in our cars, fighting traffic, ferrying arguing kids here and there, and worrying about making it to our destination on time. A clean and tidy car can go a long way toward calming your nerves and creating a more pleasant driving environment. 

Secondly, car seats can become a breeding ground for all sort of--em--"scientific experiments" that can create an unhealthy environment for your passengers. Many families eat on the go in the car. By keeping up with the crumbs and trash, you can avoid some unpleasant surprises (like the maggots my friend recently discovered under her child's car seat...gross)! Carrying less stuff around in your car makes it quicker and easier give it a quick wipe-down and vacuum when it needs it. Cleaning out your car should take you minutes, not hours!

Finally, nothing is more time-consuming and frustrating than losing track of items because you left them in the car. In an ideal world, the only items you should be keeping in your car between journeys are the things that you only use in the car or when you are away from home. Start treating everything else you bring home like a gallon of milk and put it away as soon as you reach home. You wouldn't leave a gallon of milk sitting in the car for days, right?

How? Emptying your car after each trip is not so difficult if you keep up with it...it's just a matter of getting started and staying disciplined. Start by giving the inside of your vehicle a good, thorough clean. This will help you want to keep it that way. Next, train all your passengers to share in the responsibility for keeping it tidy:

1. Keep a large cereal container in your car to use as a miniature trashcan, or store small trash bags in an empty wipes container or Kleenex box in your glove box. Take a minute to dispose of all accumulated garbage each time you exit the car or fill up your gas tank.
2. Establish a rule that each passenger is responsible for collecting up all books, games, blankets, toys, etc. that they brought into the vehicle and taking them inside at the end of the ride. If they know this is required, they may be less likely to want to bring the kitchen sink with them on every trip.
3. Empty the trunk and interior of any and all purchases made during your journey as soon as you come home. Resist the temptation to "do it later". Enlist help from the ranks (if you have ranks) to carry things inside. If kids object to helping, offer them an incentive for each bag they bring in. No one should go inside empty-handed.

Once you get used to having a clean and organized car to travel in, you won't want to go back to your previous chaos. With a little discipline and a tidy car, even carpooling in heavy traffic can be easy peasy!

It's mid-September. By now, everyone is back in school, the extracurricular activities have resumed, and the seemingly endless stream of papers have come pouring in...papers telling you:

• when PE day is each week (so you can make sure they wear their sneakers)
• who the PTA volunteer recruiters are (so you know who to avoid at pick-up time)
• what's on this month's cafeteria lunch menu (so that you know which days they will complain the most that you didn't pack them a lunch)
• why over-scheduling your kids (and yourself) by signing them up for this particular after-school activity will be worth all the self-loathing later
• how reading aloud every night to your kids will help them become better readers (does reading the McDonald's drive-thru menu count?)

Maybe you're one of the lucky ones who is really on top of things and you've already managed to complete and return the 431 start-of-a-new-year forms that have made their rumpled way home in your kids' backpacks. But now the real fun begins...HOMEWORK!!! Ugh! Trust me when I say that if you have any hope of making it to Halloween with a single hair still on your head, you are going to need a plan...a good plan...for keeping yourself and your kids organized for school. But with a proper set up and a little daily maintenance, you can turn all that back-to-school chaos into back-to-school cool.

First, it's important to establish a solid after-school routine. Even if your schedule varies depending on the day, try to have a set routine for when the kids arrive home with all their stuff. We call ours "backpack unpack" time. Unpack and repack lunchboxes (if applicable) right away to avoid a scramble the next morning. Designate a landing pad where each kid can unpack homework materials and a separate "inbox" where they can leave papers for Mom or Dad to see or sign.

Next, equip your kids with a homework station. Whether it's at a desk in their rooms or contained in a bin or basket that can be transported to the kitchen or dining room table, make sure they have a clear work surface and all the supplies they need to complete their homework assignments...pencils, sharpener, erasers, highlighters, ruler, compass, calculator, protractor, glue stick, scissors, crayons/colored pencils, and paper. Try to keep it well-stocked and somewhat organized. If helpful, include folders for keeping study aids and work in progress easily accessible.

Third, maintain a common calendar for tracking all upcoming tests, deadlines, project due dates, and other reminders (such as "Wear Sneakers" every PE day and "Remember Library Books" every Media Center day). Color code it using a different color ink for each child. Post it in a central location and train the kids to review it each morning before school and each evening before bed. Gradually teach them how to share responsibility for maintaining it.

For older kids, help them set up their binders with divided sections for each class and two separate homework folders: one for homework to be completed, and a second for completed homework that is ready to turn in. Encourage them to write all homework assignments and upcoming tests, quizzes and projects in an agenda during class and then review it each evening to be sure all assignments were completed. If applicable, you can also check your school's online assignment tracker just in case they forgot to write something down in their agendas. (This will also help you know about upcoming tests and projects so you can add them  to the reminder calendar.)

So now, what to do with all those papers they bring home for you to see or sign? Well, let's start with the stuff you DON'T have to keep: You do not need to save every piece of graded classwork or artwork your child brings home. Less really is more when if comes to selecting keepsakes. Only THE MOST precious items should make it into your keepsakes box, lest you end up needing to build a new wing onto your house in a few years to hold a forest of paper you will likely never look at again. (You are more likely to look at it again if you have less of it...trust me on this!) As for the rest of their work, once you have reviewed it, you really only need to keep the papers that may be helpful in reviewing, either with your kids or their teachers, potential problem areas. 

Any other papers requiring action, such as permission slips or sign-up sheets, should be addressed and immediately returned to school in your child's backpack (with instructions to your child on what to do with them) or added to your To Do pile. Information about school policies, test results, and report cards should be filed. Any other items not requiring action can be discarded after reviewing them.

Finally, if you aren't already in the habit of weekly dinner menu planning, I strongly encourage you to try it. It's an investment that can save you a ton of time, money and sanity on hectic school nights. Check out this helpful menu planning tutorial to get you started!

With a little planning and the right attitude, making it all the way through the school year with a full head of hair still intact will be easy peasy!

Teach your little patriots some history with a July 4 treasure hunt! Create 10 multiple choice question cards, each with three options (A, B, and C). Place one question card in an envelope along with three tent cards...each one labeled on the outside with A, B, or C. Glue or tape a clue to the location of the next envelope inside the tent card labeled with the correct answer and leave the other two "wrong" tent cards blank. The last clue should lead to the prized "treasure".

In addition to teaching them about history with the question cards, you can use the clues to teach kids about rhyming, figurative language, relative positioning, or anything else you want them to master.  

Below are the 10 questions I used, but you can modify them to the appropriate age level of your kids and can adapt the theme to any topic:
Question 1: Who was the author of the Declaration of Independence? 

• A: George Washington
• B: Benjamin Franklin
• C: Thomas Jefferson

Question 2: Who is called the "Father of our country"?

• A: George Washington
• B: Samuel Adams
• C: Abraham Lincoln

Question 3: What city is the birthplace of our national anthem?

• A: New York, NY
• B: Baltimore, MD
• C: Washington, DC

Question 4: Which of the following was NOT one of the 13 original colonies?

• A: Florida
• B: New York
• C: Rhode Island

Question 5: What do the 50 stars on our flag represent?

• A: The number of signers of the Declaration of Independence
• B: The number of states in the union
• C: Nothing. It is just the number that looks good.

Question 6: Where is the Liberty Bell located?

• A: Boston, MA
• B: New York, NY
• C: Philadelphia, PA

Question 7: What is the name of Thomas Jefferson's home?

• A: Mount Vernon
• B: Monticello
• C: Montpelier

Question 8: Which country helped us to gain our independence?

• A: Germany
• B: Canada
• C: France

Question 9: On what holiday did George Washington make his famous crossing of the Delaware River?

• A: Easter
• B: Christmas Eve
• C: Christmas Day

Question 10: Whose face is on the $20 bill?

• A: Andrew Jackson
• B: Alexander Hamilton
• C: Abraham Lincoln

The clues you use depends on where in your home you will be hiding the question/answer envelopes, but a couple of examples are: 

• You will find the next clue where J.K. Rowling's story is told (location: next to the Harry Potter DVDs)
  
• Look for the next clue where Mozart's music sleeps (location: on the piano).
  

Get creative and match the difficulty level to your kids' abilities.

A couple of months ago, I spent a much-overdue long weekend away with my three older sisters. It was the first time I had ever been away from my children for more than one night. (They are now 7 and 9.) I was sure that they would miss me, and I knew I would miss them, but my son responded to the news with this elated proclamation to his father:

"Hey Daddy, that means that we can do whatever we want all weekend, because Mommy won't be here to boss us around!"

Alas, it's true that we all need to take a break every now and then from doing what we're supposed to do. That's why we take vacations and why we skip the gym, take a "mental health day" from work, or cheat on our diets. In this case, my son thought that there would be no one ordering him to clean up his toys, make his bed or clear his dishes with his drill sergeant Mom on leave. His hope was that it would be one long video game-playing, TV-watching, Lego-dumping weekend filled with Cocoa Puffs for dinner, chocolate cake for dessert and no church or teeth-brushing to cramp his style. Turns out he was only half-right. He forgot that his sister was also staying home...and she's bossier than all the rest of the women in my family put together. The writing piece he did for school (at right) tells it all, I think. Are those blue things fish or a bossy sister's feet?

Anyway, a little time off from the regular routine is a healthy thing, and summer is the ideal time for relaxing our standards and enjoying some easy, laid-back simplicity. But there is a fine line between a relaxed routine and complete chaos...a line that is easily erased in the absence of a solid organizational foundation and a bit of self-discipline. Just like enjoying that all-you-can-eat dessert buffet, the long-term negative effects of your binge can be minimized with just a smidgeon of advance preparation and a plan in place for easing back into the rigors of everyday life when reality resumes in the fall. Also remember that kids need a little structure in place to reassure them when they crash from that sugar rush.

So  go ahead and savor the sweetness of these long summer days, but just remember that you still need to brush if you don't want a cavity!

(And now that you've got the song stuck in your head, you may as well go ahead and listen to it! Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer )

I am blessed to have two children who love to read! In fact, my 7-year-old son is known for swiping his Dad's Playstation Magazine and hiding it under his bed before my husband has had a chance to read it. We knew his zeal for reading had reached new heights when he started making off with his nursing journals too.

My daughter insists on saving all of her birthday and Valentine's cards and routinely reads through her current stash. She reads our Webster's dictionary quite regularly, and I had even encouraged her to share a "word of the day" with the family each night at dinner until I started noticing a disturbing pattern in the words she chose...Adder, Anaconda, Asp, Cobra, Copperhead... Last Fall, we had to confiscate her Harry Potter book at bedtime in order to keep her from reading it in the dark. After discovering that she had been sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night to read in secret, we had to tell her that an alarm is set to go off if anyone is creeping around downstairs after Mom and Dad go to bed. (Of course, this backfired on me months later when I wanted her to run downstairs to fetch something for me after we'd all retired upstairs for the night.)

Whether it's library books, greeting cards, yard sale finds, magazines, or another generous Amazon shipment from Grandma, there seems to be an abundance of reading material circulating in our house. Even the shortest car trip requires a traveling library, and I want to encourage their bookishness. To contain all this fabulous print, we have bookshelves strategically placed in every major room of our house and magazine baskets in all the bathrooms. Yet it remains a struggle getting my little bookworms to re-shelve with adequate frequency.

Thus I have introduced the "book basket", where reading material can be tossed with ease by the day's appointed "librarian" during our quick evening tidy-up. Every couple of weeks, the kids re-shelve the contents of the basket and I slyly seed it with a few neglected titles from the shelves upstairs to encourage them to select a variety of different texts to read.

"So please, oh PLEASE, we beg, we pray, Go throw your TV set away, And in its place you can install, A lovely bookshelf on the wall."
— Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

I have a 7 year-old son and a 9 year-old daughter. They both insist--rather frequently--that they plan to never leave home. This is sad news, because I really had my heart set on A) seeing them happily married with children of their own some day; B) replacing all the scratched up furniture and stained rugs at some point once they were no longer around to ruin the new stuff. I'm reduced to hoping that my son will eventually revert back to his original plan of becoming a hobo. Maybe then I could at least get some new end tables.

Don't get me wrong. I love my children very much, but I'd be lying if I said that boarding school never crossed my mind when I read "The Chamber of Secrets has been opened" scrawled in red crayon on my daughter's dresser. For some reason, I was under the impression that once she was old enough to watch Harry Potter movies, she'd be past the stage of coloring her bedroom furniture. Apparently I failed to figure the need for proper set design into the equation.

Anyway, the point is that I love my home and want it to look nice. I feel good when I can look around my living room and see all the pretty things I picked out to decorate it. It makes me smile to see the framed photos of the people I love sitting atop the sideboard, and I enjoy sitting on the comfy sofa watching a favorite TV show or blogging on my laptop without being surrounded by chaos, dirt or mess. Sure, there's a small price to be paid to maintain this order, but 10-15 minutes here and there to tidy up is worth it to me. Like everything else in life, it is a choice...just like the choice I am making to keep my son, despite his recent failed attempt to make a ghost costume out of one of my pillow cases using scissors.

Once upon a time, you made an important choice too. You chose your home, and you were excited about it. You chose the color on the walls (probably), the sofa you sit on, the rugs you walk on, the desk or table you write on. And you were excited about them too. When you look around your home today, what do you see? Are you still excited about it? Are you still able to see all your favorite things? Is it the environment you chose, or just the one you tolerate?

Life is short. Make sure the set design is appropriate for the story you hope to live.