Every item in your home should serve a purpose. If it doesn’t, it is only in your way and should be purged. That goes for your paper keepsakes as well. The purpose of keepsakes is to preserve moments from your past that reflect who you have been, are and will become. So many people struggle to maintain control over this category of items because they lack a clear vision of what that means. The bad news is that there is no one-size-fits-all description I can give you, because it varies from person to person. The good news is that you don’t need me to give you one, because you can create one for yourself. It’s not the specific parameters that matter...it’s that you have some.

Think about your paper keepsakes like artifacts in a museum, where you are the curator. These are items that you select that tell a story about your life. Another way to look at it is to imagine that your stash of keepsakes is a time capsule you are sending to your future self and those you leave behind. What is most important to remember? What are the milestones, achievements, values and memories that have shaped who you are? Who were the people that mattered to you or impacted your life? 

I recently combed through my own enormous stash of disorganized keepsakes and made some tough decisions about what to keep and what not to. I was able to pare it waaayy down from four oversized plastic bins to four small boxes (one for each member of my family). It was a lot easier once I laid some boundaries. Here are some examples of the ground rules I followed in case they may help you in setting your own guidelines:

1. ​I only kept cards and letters from people who were, or had been, particularly meaningful in my life and that contained a personal message that had touched my heart in a profound way.
2. I only kept memories from someone else’s wedding if those couples were still together and remained part of my life.
3. I only kept my children’s artwork that was particularly representative of who they were at the time. Since a lot of it fell into this category, I selected just my favorite examples.
4. I only saved items from my own childhood that represented important milestones, accomplishments, places or memories that had shaped my worldview. My selections had to trigger more than just a fond, fun memory. 
5. Anything I had completely forgotten about or that I couldn’t quickly and easily identify got tossed immediately.
6. Whenever I had multiple items relating to the same memory, I kept only one or two of the most meaningful and representative.​

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Those were my rules. Yours may be completely different. The point is to decide what they are first. Write them down as a guide for when those really tough decisions arise...and they will. While you are unlikely to miss anything you ultimately decide to toss, making the decision to toss it can feel in that moment like deciding to chop off your own arm. Be brave and remember that avoiding that unpleasantness is probably how you ended up with such a big pile of stuff to go through.

Try some of these strategies to make it easier:

• Limit your available space - Determine how much space you are willing to devote just to keepsakes. Keep in mind that for every box of memories you store, that’s one box of something else you can’t store. Once your defined space limit has been reached, it’s time to either purge or stop collecting.
• Pick a number - Similar to limiting your available space, defining ahead of time how many cards, how many pieces of artwork, how many certificates of achievement you can keep will force you to select only the most meaningful.
• Establish a (small) “Discard After Death” box - This is for storing items that only have meaning to you but will mean nothing to anyone else. Clearly mark it to let the finder know that its contents can be tossed upon your death. This will be extremely helpful to whomever is tasked with going through all of your belongings after you are gone. It gives them permission to ignore the entire box and focus instead on the keepsakes that will convey some meaning to them.
• Involve your children - Particularly when it pertains to memories related to them, including your kids in the decision-making process not only ensures that you are making correct assumptions about what’s significant in their eyes, it also models for them how to make similar decisions about their own keepsakes. If they don’t care about or remember a piece of artwork they made, perhaps that’s not the best one to keep. 
• Transform it - Whether you turn a paper keepsake into something practical you can use or display, or record the same memory in a different format, there are lots of ways to honor the significance of certain artifacts without storing them all in a box where you will rarely see them. (See the shaded area below for some ideas.)​

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Could it be that it was only eight short months ago when we were ringing in the new year and ushering in a brand-new, shiny decade full of hope? The anticipation of the coming U.S. presidential election and Olympic Summer Games energized the country and the world. In our house, it was the beginning of the countdown to our first-born starting her senior year of high school in September and turning 18 in October. Our son was eagerly awaiting a summer of hard training for his next vigorous cross country season in the Fall. My organizing business was finally booming and my husband’s career humming along very nicely. 2020 promised to be a banner year for the Sheridan family. 

Then BAM! Seemingly out of the blue, a pandemic of epic proportions, quarantines, school closures, sports cancellations, postponed primaries...followed by murder hornets, protests, wildfires, hurricanes, fire tornadoes…and worst of all, death--lots of it, job losses, endless bread lines, potential foreclosures, and financial ruin for many...all piled up in a big heap, bringing everything to a standstill. The old saying that the only things in this life that are a certainty are death and taxes never hit more close to home. So here we are: at the crossroads of hope and uncertainty. What now? How do we merge these two seemingly divergent paths into one? How do we maintain hope amid all this chaotic uncertainty?

First, let’s take a step back to consider just why confronting uncertainty is so uncomfortable for most of us. Perhaps it’s because it threatens our need to feel in control. If we can’t see a roadblock up ahead, we can’t take an alternate route or steer around it to our advantage. Right now, most of us are just wondering when...when schools and businesses will reopen; when we’ll get financial relief; when a vaccine will be available that can allow us to resume something resembling normalcy. It’s hard to keep up with all the unexpected twists, turns and detours on Rt. 2020. Nevertheless, there are still three very crucial things that do remain totally within our control, should we choose to exert it. Let’s start there:

Self-Care 
Whether you are ill (from anything) or fit as a fiddle, the choices you make about caring for yourself will affect how you feel both physically and mentally. Tune in to your body, as well as your soul, and make changes in any of the following areas, if necessary, to improve your well-being:

• Eating well gives you the right kind of fuel for fighting an illness or working extra hours to put food on the table. Putting the right kind of gas in your tank energizes you and lifts your spirits.
• Getting enough rest allows your brain to focus more easily on the tasks and responsibilities you face without burning you out.
• Exercising regularly lowers your stress levels, helps you sleep better, and increases your energy for confronting the challenges ahead of you.
• Wearing a mask, hand washing and social distancing protects you and others around you from the dangers of potential infection. Just as importantly, you’ll be doing something proactive to help restore public health, which is empowering. Your mask can transform you from a victim into a superhero!
• Finding your center recharges you and allows you to keep moving ahead. Whether that's snuggles with the kiddos/spouse, walks alone, a long hot soak in the tub, or prayer/meditation, finding and tending to your center is essential self-care.

    
Attitude
Whether you are quarantining alone or with others, your overall attitude plays a major role in your ability to cope with your situation. Keeping your outlook positive despite your circumstances will not only boost your own spirits, it can become a beacon of hope for others who may need a reminder of all the goodness still surrounding us. Attitude is how your perspective and priorities dictate how you interface with the world around you.

• Keeping a positive perspective means choosing to see whatever hardships you may be facing as merely a temporary setback instead of an insurmountable obstacle. Just as with forming any new habit, focusing on the positives instead of the negatives takes effort at the start but becomes easier over time. Starting a gratitude journal is an excellent way to change your daily perspective. There’s always something to be grateful for, no matter how down on your luck you may be in that moment. Challenging yourself to write it down brings it into sharper focus where you can fully appreciate it.
• Prioritizing the common good over self offers you a golden opportunity to become a better person while helping others at the same time. Whether you’re volunteering at a soup kitchen, mentoring a young person struggling in school, donating food or money for the unemployed, or working extra hours as an essential worker, prioritizing your contribution to the greater good gives you a sense of purpose, of belonging to something bigger than yourself in a way that benefits everyone. Who doesn’t want that? 

Actions
Whether you are working multiple jobs as an essential worker, furloughed at home desperately seeking employment, or finding yourself in the unexpected role of homeschooling parent, your actions are always a matter of choice and thus totally under your control. How well are your actions reflecting the attitude you want to convey? Are you eating junk food on the sofa, yelling at the other side’s politicians on TV, wallowing in gloom, self-pity and self-loathing, or are you reaching out to make a positive impact, using your available time to engage in proper self-care, helping others, hopeful thinking, and positive self-talk? The choice is yours. Make a good one.

Let's face it: this has been a difficult year so far and the only thing we can be certain of is that yet more uncertainty surely lies around the next corner. But by staying focused on the things that are still within your control, even confronting uncertainty with hope intact can be easy peasy.

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Space truly is the final frontier! Everyone seems to be on an endless quest for it...for space in their homes...on their desks...in their busy lives! Yet it eludes most of us. Just as soon as we find some....poof! It’s gone and the search begins anew. But what if instead of spending all of our space, we kept some of it….empty?!! Today, I’m making a case for space!
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First, how is empty space even useful?

• It increases easy accessibility. The things you use every day will be easier to access and put away if you have less stuff cluttering up your cabinets, closets and drawers. Think of it as room to breathe for the stuff you keep.
• It creates a sense of visual peace. Blank spaces cut down on visual noise, leaving you feeling calmer, more relaxed, and more in control of your environment.
• It makes life simpler. More space means less stuff, which in turn means less overhead. You have less to clean, less to declutter, less to tidy, less to decide what to do with, less to move around in order to make room...all leaving you have more time, more money and more energy. 

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Preserving your empty space boils down to choosing space over stuff. You may be asking...if empty space is so valuable, then why do people tend to choose stuff over space? Good question! Clients usually call me when their lack of space begins causing a problem in their lives. They are aware that they need more space, yet still seem compelled to fill it back up again when given the opportunity. Why? Here are some of the most common reasons, along with my counterpoint for each one: Do any of these sound familiar?
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Fear of being without something you may need (clothes, paper towels, shoes, serving dishes).
Counterpoint: If you run out of something, you can go shopping, do laundry, borrow from a neighbor, order online. If none of these are possible, you will likely find a way to make do in an emergency. Such emergencies will be very rare and far outweighed by the everyday benefits of having more space. Think up a back-up plan in advance if that makes you feel less afraid to part with something. (Personal aside: At the beginning of the COVID-19 crisis when toilet paper was difficult to find, I came up with multiple contingency plans for if/when we ran out. I never had to use any of them, but now that I have them, I don’t feel a need to use up my valuable space hoarding toilet paper.)

Avoiding a deep-seated (and usually misplaced) perception of poverty and/or a misperception of “wealth”. 
Counterpoint: Having more stuff doesn’t make you rich. It  actually costs you more in the long run. Would you rather be “rich” in stuff that gets in your way, or rich in time and energy that can be spent on having new and meaningful experiences, learning more about the world, and forging/maintaining important relationships? Which will matter more at the end of your life? Remember, the old adage “You can’t take it with you” refers to your material wealth.

Unwillingness to make choices (aka decision deferral).
Counterpoint: Making decisions gets easier and quicker with practice and takes less time when you do it on a daily basis. Developing a habit of making decisions in the moment takes effort but will pay huge dividends in the long run.

Need to fill up the other aspects of life that feel empty (relationships, self-esteem, productivity, sense of control).
Counterpoint: Space gives us freedom. We need space to live in, move in, fill up with the people and activities that bring us joy. When we do that, we will not feel emptiness; we will feel fulfilled.

So how do we create and maintain empty space?
Simple: Choose space over stuff. Now that you understand the value of empty space and why you may have chosen stuff instead in the past, it will be easier to  make more intentional decisions in the future. There are three key components to this:

1. Slow down acquisitions. Think about spending your space the same way you think about spending your money. Realize that you can only spend it on one thing and spend it wisely. Decide in advance where you will store it and what you will get rid of to maintain or increase your current amount of empty space. If you haven’t figured that out yet, let the store or warehouse continue to store it for you until you do. It’s not a “great deal” if it means you have to spend space you don’t want to spend in order to save money.
2. Make decluttering a regular routine. Just like cutting the grass, washing your hair, or doing laundry, getting rid of things you no longer need/use is an ongoing, necessary task. The more often you do it, the less time and effort it takes. Creating a regular routine will make it a habit you no longer have to think too much about, just like brushing your teeth every day. Just do it.
3. Become a decider. Develop a habit of making decisions immediately instead of putting them off. This is the single, most-effective change you can make to take and retain control over your environment and your life. Every purchase...Every piece of mail..Every coupon...Every “freebie”...It all comes with decisions attached. The longer you wait to make the decision, the greater your danger of losing control over your time, space, money and energy.

Capturing space and keeping it requires some bold changes. Then again, so did sending a man to the moon. Are you ready to face the final frontier?
With a little conscious decision-making and a few good habits, even holding onto empty space can be easy peasy!

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Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Year's, or Festivus, December tends to be a frenzied time of year for most of us. Perhaps you are familiar with this old-fashioned holiday recipe?

Ingredients:
1 cup Family Togetherness 
3 cups Overcommitted Time
2 teaspoons Desire to Impress Others
1/2 cup Unrealistic Expectations
1 3/4 cup Excessive Spending
4 tablespoons Bad Nutrition and Lack of Exercise
2/3 cup Exhaustion

1. Combine all ingredients and beat at high speed for approximately four weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year's.
2. Cook over flaring tempers until it explodes.

What's it make? Why, a big ol' batch of Holiday Stress, of course! But if you're looking for a richer, sweeter taste to your holidays, omit the last six ingredients and follow these tips for results that will have everyone raving: 

Name Your Goal
What's the most important point to your holiday? Is it spiritual reflection? Spending time with loved ones? Giving something back to help those less fortunate? Taking time to savor the tastes, sights and sounds of the season? Reliving fond memories through old traditions? For many of us, it is all of these things, but you must determine which is #1 on your list so that you can prioritize your activities accordingly. When scheduling conflicts arise, ask yourself which calendar item most reflects your #1 goal for the season. This will help you not to spread yourself too thin. It's okay to say "no", especially if it means saying "yes" to a more relaxed and enjoyable holiday!

Keep it Real
Even Martha Stewart doesn't do it all herself. She has a staff of people to make it all look easy...which it isn't. People are rarely impressed with frazzled hosts/hostesses. Be realistic and accept that you have limits. Embrace them and spend time on the things you enjoy doing to make the season special...a cheerful smile is always pretty impressive, don't you think? It's okay to buy the dessert for your party or to give a gift card you picked up at the supermarket, especially if it means having more time to spend with the people you care about.

Set a Budget
Also not impressive is bankruptcy. Don't give yourself the gift of massive credit card debt this year! Decide what purchases most reflect your #1 goal and budget accordingly. If giving to those less fortunate is at the top of your list, consider making charitable donations in a loved one's name as your gift to them. If enjoying the sights and sounds of the season is imperative, factor in those tickets to the Nutcracker or that especially tall Douglass Fir and plan ahead. It's okay to shorten your gift list to fit within your means...you may find that others are relieved to have the opportunity to shorten theirs too.

Establish Boundaries
Norman Rockwell aside, most of us have some degree of dysfunction or disagreement within our extended families. Holidays tend to bring out the short tempers in everyone, so agree to some ground rules before your spinster great-aunt or your unemployed cousin move in for Christmas week or your mother-in-law reluctantly agrees to let you make the latkes for Hanukkah. It's okay to put all your cards on the table beforehand so that everyone knows what to expect (or what not to).

Give Yourself the Gift of Good Health
Stress and fatigue lead to illness. Over-indulgence leads to guilt and a wide array of health issues. Make the time to eat right, exercise and rest. Your friends and family would rather have you for the holidays than the presents, food and parties. It's okay to take care of you during this busy season so that others won't have to.

Don't forget, today's holidays are tomorrow's memories...you'll treasure them more if you don't make unreasonable demands on yourself. Even memorable holidays can be easy peasy if you just relax, celebrate and enjoy!

I recall the look of complete amazement and bewilderment on the face of my British friend as I described to her, sometime back in the late '80's, how a drive-thru bank worked. I'm not sure if she was impressed by the ingenuity of such an idea or astonished at the sheer laziness of an entire culture where such a phenomenon would even be needed, much less commonplace. 

Indeed, we Americans seem to be almost obsessed with an ongoing demand for more and more "convenience". As though drive-thru restaurants, pharmacies and dry cleaners are not enough, we now have curbside pickup, hands-free concierge service on our cell phones, and remote controls that open our car trunks for us from 50 feet away. Of course, being the queen of laziness, I love it all and can't wait for the day that someone invents an exercise machine that allows me to burn calories and tone muscle while napping.

But if we aren't careful, our never-ending quest for convenience can become downright inconvenient, particularly when it comes to all those "convenience" kitchen appliances: juicers, bread makers, rotisseries, countertop grills, food dehydrators and vacuum sealers. Look around you. Are the appliances that are intended to conserve your time just consuming the valuable real estate in your home?

As with anything else, it's all about choices. Choose which convenience you want...drive-thru burgers, or easier homemade burgers? Vacuum packed groceries you can freeze for fewer trips to the store, or door-to-door grocery delivery? Be realistic and consider your lifestyle and current needs to determine which you will really use. If you want to keep the food dehydrator, fine. USE IT! Commit to it. Let go of that notion that you'll use it "someday". If "someday" ever does come, the newer models will be better, even easier to use, and probably worth the cost of buying a new one, so there's no need to keep this one around and in your way until then (unless it's Grandma's old ice cream maker and you are keeping it for sentimental reasons...but that's another post). Realize that there is nothing convenient about having to move the juicer every time you need to find a glass for your store-bought juice. ALL conveniences require some type of sacrifice--time, money, space, accessibility--so choose wisely. 

I have a bread maker I bought about 15 years ago but rarely used because it was too big to store on the counter and required too much effort to get it out when put away. Storing such a large and infrequently-used appliance in my tiny kitchen was a luxury I could no longer afford, so I gave myself an ultimatum: either start using the bread maker regularly or get rid of it. Thus I re-organized my kitchen to make it easier to access my bread maker and  have started using it at least weekly to make homemade dough for pizzas, pita bread and hamburger buns from pre-measured, homemade mixes I toss together once a month or so. I am choosing the convenience of having easier homemade pizza over the convenience of ordering pizza delivery, but that's a personal choice. The point is, you need to evaluate your current needs and priorities and stop allowing your convenience appliances to inconvenience your life by either finding a way to make using them easier or getting rid of them to make room for a different kind of convenience. 

By the way, unused space is a pretty versatile convenience of its own. Just saying.

Update 1/5/2014: It's been five months since I originally posted this and I'm happy to report that I am continuing to use my bread maker very regularly. If you have a bread maker that's collecting dust, start using it to make home made pizza dough, rolls and pita bread from one of our EasyPeasy Mixes. You'll save money and will be amazed at just how quick and easy it is. Trust me! You'll never go back to eating that store-bought cardboard again!

After nine months of procrastination, excuses and cancellations, I finally had my "annual" physical yesterday. I had been dreading this since January, knowing that my likable yet firm and forthright nurse practitioner was going to lecture me about my hoard. Yes that's right...I'm a hoarder...a hoarder of calories. And just like all the hoarders on my favorite "Buried Alive" TV episodes, my years of hoarding have finally started taking their toll and are doing some real physical damage to the hoarder home...in this case, my body.

It's not exactly a secret to anyone who sees me that I like to eat and hate to exercise. I've struggled with maintaining my weight for most of my life but really began losing the battle after I had kids, not unlike so many people who lose their tenuous grip on organization and time management when the demands of life begin to outgrow the number of hours in a day. In fact, there are so many similarities between getting fit and getting organized:

1. Both require long-term patience and determination
2. Both involve a lifestyle change that must be maintained in order to be successful
3. Both are freeing and empowering and remove obstacles to fulfilling your potential
4. Both are immensely rewarding and lead to a better quality of life
5. Both are more likely to be successful when accompanied by the support and encouragement of others

I have a triathlete friend who wishes her house looked like mine. I wish my body looked like hers. Put us together and we'd be one smokin' hot room mother!  I went over to her house a few months ago to give her some organizing advice. It was the first time I'd seen her house, and she nervously met me at the door, admitting that it was hard for her to let me in (it truly wasn't that bad). As I was leaving, she asked if she'd be seeing me up at the pool this summer, and I replied, "The way you felt about letting me into your house is the way I feel about putting on a bathing suit in public." I didn't make it up to the pool this year...clearly my friend is more courageous than I am!

My nurse practitioner has given me three months to start clearing out my hoard "or else" (meaning that another lecture from her will be the easiest part of my next appointment, I'm sure). So I find myself in the role of encouragee after months of playing the encourager.  I hope it will make me better able to relate to my clients' struggles and find compassionate ways to encourage them. I'll keep you posted on my progress.

In the meantime, if you see me stuffing my gob with cupcakes, remind me that "it's all about making choices".