I never used to be an anxious person, but parenthood and home ownership changed all that. And then Covid happened. Stress and anxiety seem to have set up a permanent residence in my life, but that doesn’t mean I have to allow them to make themselves comfortable here. Understanding what feeds them helps me keep them in check.

For me, it’s all about control (or a lack thereof), so it should come as no surprise that I’ve learned to use my organizational skills to my advantage. When my house is tidy, I can focus and I don’t lose things. When I have dinner already planned, it’s one less thing for me to worry about. Maintaining lists of all sorts (shopping, to-do, projects, etc.) ensures fewer things fall through the cracks, and keeping a strong grasp on my schedule means I am better able to control my time. I wasn’t always this organized...it happened gradually over many years as I realized how much better having everything in order made me feel.

Facing the unknown is another trigger. Worrying about how much a home or car repair will cost, fear of not knowing how to accomplish an important task, anxiety over what a future situation will look like so that I can be adequately prepared (especially when it comes to my kids) are the things that keep me tossing and turning in bed. Experience has taught me that research is my friend. The sooner I learn the answers to my many questions, the sooner I can relax. Sure, I can worry that I won’t be able to pay for a new air conditioner, but maybe I don’t actually need a new air conditioner. And if I do, I can research the various options for financing it until I find one that will work for me. Knowledge leads the way in finding workable solutions to the things we all worry about.

Background noise, distractions, and the physical aches and pains that accompany old age have also become bigger issues for me in recent years. I’m not able to do as much physical work in one stretch as I used to be able to do, and sometimes this creates stress, especially when time is of the essence. Finding ways to recharge my batteries, improve my focus and soothe my senses relieves tension and makes me more productive in the long run.

I’m learning that it takes a lot of energy and effort not to slide down the slippery slope into negative thinking. Focusing on the half of the glass that is full instead of the half that’s empty takes practice. How I talk to myself matters. Occasionally I need an injection of positivity from outside sources. Maintaining healthy, supportive relationships that build me up instead of tearing me down keeps me on a positive trajectory. I look for inspiration and motivation from the experiences of others. And a bit of humor goes a long way in reminding me not to take it all too seriously.

Realizing each of these triggers, I’ve identified four primary ways to quiet my stress and anxiety when they become too unruly:

1. Organize my thoughts
2. Recalibrate my focus
3. Soothe my senses
4. Inject some positivity

But in the heat of the moment, when I’m nearing melt-down, it can be challenging to remember all the calming tools I have at my disposal. Thus, I have created a Calming Menu of self-calming strategies to choose from. I've shared it in the Free Downloads section of the EasyPeasy Living website for those who wish to download and print out a copy for themselves. It’s not a replacement for therapy or medication if you have a diagnosed or suspected anxiety disorder, but it’s a place to start exploring and practicing how to help yourself.

You know those people who always seem to just have it all together? The ones who are usually calmly waiting, scrolling through Facebook, when you burst through the door feeling frazzled and out of breath because you're late meeting them...again!? The folks who have the PTA calendar memorized and always seem to have contact information right at their fingertips to meet every conceivable need, from trusty mechanic or top notch medical specialist to medieval jousting expert? They remember to return your book, even though you forgot you loaned it to them in the first place. They know when and where outdoor movie night is happening and exactly when to score free cones because it's National Ice Cream Day. They always acknowledge your birthday and never forget to send in non-perishables for the school's canned food drive (while you, on the other hand, can be found desperately hunting through your pantry at the last minute for cream of mushroom soup or something else you'll probably never eat).

Yeah, we all know at least one of these people, but starting today, you can become one with much less effort than you think.
 
New Habit #4: Take and Use Notes. Keep track of everything as it enters your brain...reminders, to-dos, shopping needs, contact info, events, appointments, due dates... in a central, reliable system and--here’s the key--review it daily. 

Why? The biggest benefit is the confidence and peace of mind you'll find from having a reliable way to tame your brain clutter. Yes...that's a thing...and too much of it leads to stress, whether you're consciously aware of it or it's just bubbling up right beneath the surface. That old expression "too many cooks in the kitchen spoil the broth" means that having no established leader to give clear direction will lead to chaos and, ultimately, failure. Well, that's what happens when you have competing priorities, demands on your time and random thoughts running wildly through your head without a central unified and reliable system in place for managing it all. 

Now, the key word here is "reliable". Lots of people have calendars, address books, fancy apps on their phones, colored-coded giant whiteboards on the refrigerator....you name it, yet still suffer from brain clutter because they aren't in the habit of actually maintaining and using these tools properly. All the fancy pots and top-of-the-line kitchen tools in the world won't make you a master chef unless you know how to use them and do. With proper daily maintenance and a solid habit of reviewing what you’ve noted, you'll avoid overbooking (and overstretching) yourself, missing important appointments or deadlines, or forgetting to do tasks, and you'll be able to plan ahead with confidence. You'll also rest easier knowing you can communicate with your network whenever and wherever needed.

How? This is actually a three-part habit.

First, choose a format that you think will work best for you, be it electronic, paper, cave drawing, whatever, or even a combination of the above elements. This will involve some trial/error and re-evaluation as you go. Expect that...it's okay, and if you have to change formats along the way, it just means you are learning more about yourself and what works for you (or doesn't). There is no right or wrong way...just a right-for-you or wrong-for-you way. Whatever format you choose, it must meet these three criteria:

1. Allows you to keep track of appointments, reminders/to-dos, shopping needs, and contacts (all four!)
2. Is portable and accessible at all times
3. Is easy and convenient to use (never underestimate the power of even the slightest inconvenience to prevent you from completing any task...especially one you didn't particularly want to do in the first place)

​Your system may be comprised of multiple components just as long as they are coordinated with one another. For example, you may initially add an item to your To-Do list but then schedule it on your calendar later during your daily review, or vice versa. Just avoid keeping multiple To-Do lists or calendars for the same purpose.

Next, add anything and everything you need to remember into your system as soon as you become aware of it.

• Need to return that book to your friend when you see her next week? Create a reminder in your calendar to take it with you on that day.
• Need to call the doctor during office hours tomorrow? Schedule it in your calendar or tell Alexa or Siri to remind you at 8AM on Monday (or both).
• Want to take the kids to see the free magic show at the library next weekend? Calendar.
• Thinking of getting the house painted? Put the contact info for the painter who left a flyer on your door into your contacts (and throw away the flyer) and then add calling for an estimate to your to-do list.
• Out of soy sauce? Add it to your shopping list right away.

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Finally, make a daily appointment with yourself to review the data in your system so that you can bring it to life through an action plan. This is crucial. Without this, your system will not work and you will no longer trust it...reliability is key, remember? Simply sitting down each and every day to review what is coming up so that you can prioritize, plan ahead and share info with others as needed will save you time and stress otherwise spent worrying about what you're forgetting. Having a centralized system for tracking everything not only enables you to address your immediate concerns but also keeps the back-burner items on your radar so they don’t sneak up on you. 

Alternative Option
Already got this one down? Fabulous! Have you tamed your paper piles? Having a system in place for keeping track of appointments, reminders and contacts is a prerequisite to eliminating paper clutter. If you've already mastered Habit #4, go ahead and begin a daily triage of your incoming papers into these categories: action, file, pay, and read. Create calendar reminders/contacts for action and pay items, file reference papers and contacts regularly, and keep reading material handy and to a minimum (seriously, if you haven't read the fashion article you bookmarked in that 2010 magazine by now, it's probably safe to go ahead and toss it).

Tip of the Week
Speaking of taking notes, one way to improve your odds of adopting any new habit is to take note of what has (and hasn't) worked in the past. Was there a particular person who encouraged you (or sabotaged your efforts)? Is there a specific strategy that kept you motivated? Repeat the behaviors that have led to success and try to identify and eliminate the ones that led you astray.

It’s still not too late to join the official Good Habits Challenge! From this point on, only those who have actually joined the challenge will receive weekly emails introducing the remaining six habits of organized people. Plus, those who join get some free tools to help in adopting any new habit (not just these ten) and are eligible for free accountability check-ins and a chance to win a prize at the end. Joining is FREE, so what have you got to lose?

Email valerie@easypeasyliving.com if you have questions about the challenge, need more suggestions or encouragement, or just want to share your success story!

You’ve got this!

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If you're suffering from what I call "Covid Fog", you are not alone! Almost everyone I've talked to has experienced this phenomenon on some level during the past six months. Covid Fog is when you have difficulty sharpening your focus and/or maintaining it for as long as you used to before the Coronavirus pandemic shooed each of us into our respective corners of quarantine. Several factors contribute to creating Covid Fog: looser schedules, more frequent interruptions, lack of structure, changes in routine, mild depression, fatigue, boredom, grief, a dearth of motivation, and lapses in self-care are just some of them. Whatever the cause, the results can affect everything from your job performance to quality of life issues. Adopting strategies to help you find your focus is an essential first step in coping with the uncertainty that is 2020.

Here are my top tips for finding and maintaining your focus:

1. Create a routine framework. Go on autopilot for everyday tasks like personal hygiene, meal preparation and household chores or errands. When you do the same thing in the same order at the same time of the day or week, you become more efficient and are less likely to forget a step.
2. Plan your day/week in advance. This allows you to do all the focus-intensive strategizing at one time and enables you to create an overall approach that saves both time and effort and minimizes the unexpected.
3. Use calendars and lists to keep track of even minor tasks and appointments. In addition to ensuring you don't forget something, the mere act of documenting your to-dos helps to re-focus your attention and recalibrate your anxiety level about the challenges in front of you.
4. Perform your most attention-demanding tasks during your "prime time". Are you a morning person, or do you work better at night? Plan your day accordingly.
5. Adopt a movement strategy. Engaging in some small physical movement can re-focus your attention. Create a menu of options and keep it handy for times when you feel your concentration slipping. Taking a five minute break to walk around the block, climb a few flights of stairs, or toss a tennis ball in the air will pay dividends in your productivity.
6. Reduce electronic distractions. Turn off all non-essential devices, close unnecessary tabs on your browser, and silent notifications to reduce interruptions while working. 
7. Try the Pomodoro Method to stay focused on a task. This involves setting a timer and working only on the designated task until the timer goes off. Then take a short 3-5 minute break before resuming work. (This break would be the perfect time to engage in your movement strategy.)
8. Create an effective tickler system. Remember things that pop into your mind while you're doing something else by recording these to-do items in a manner that ensures they re-surface at a later time. You'll be better able to continue giving the task at hand your full attention instead of devoting brain space trying to remember the new thought.
9. Make self-care a priority. Resist the urge to zoom in your pajamas. Showering and dressing just as you would if you were going out to work will subconsciously encourage you to take your work more seriously.
10. Create a clutter-free space in which to work or retreat when you feel overwhelmed. Visual noise creates distraction and stress. Spending a few minutes before you begin working to tidy up your workspace is a worthwhile investment. If creating a clutter-free zone inside your home is too difficult, go outside to work or to take a nature break when you feel overwhelmed.
11. Power your brain with the right kind of food. Instead of grazing on snacks while you work, take a break to actually focus on your meals so that your brain registers that you've eaten. You'll feel more satisfied and less sluggish if you're choosing healthy options instead of carb- and sugar-laden junk foods.
12. Establish some boundaries. Make it clear to family members, friends and roommates when you are working and wish to be left undisturbed, but also communicate your work availability clearly to bosses and co-workers to avoid the stress of feeling constantly on-call. By avoiding intrusions on either side wherever possible, you will be better able to meet the needs of each group during their designated times.
13. Build in a cushion for the unexpected. Some interruptions are unavoidable. Reduce the stress they can cause by making sure you have a back-up plan for when hiccups occur.
14. Set flexible goals whenever possible. Shower both yourself and others with as much grace as you can afford to give. Everyone needs more of that right now and it will likely come back to you just when you need it most.
15. Reward yourself for staying focused. Whether it's ten minutes to get on social media, a bubble bath at the end of the day, or a snuggle break with your kids, give yourself something to look forward to after all that hard work spent concentrating.
16. Breathe!

With a little intention, perseverance, and these strategies, even finding your focus through the Covid Fog can be easy peasy.

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Could it be that it was only eight short months ago when we were ringing in the new year and ushering in a brand-new, shiny decade full of hope? The anticipation of the coming U.S. presidential election and Olympic Summer Games energized the country and the world. In our house, it was the beginning of the countdown to our first-born starting her senior year of high school in September and turning 18 in October. Our son was eagerly awaiting a summer of hard training for his next vigorous cross country season in the Fall. My organizing business was finally booming and my husband’s career humming along very nicely. 2020 promised to be a banner year for the Sheridan family. 

Then BAM! Seemingly out of the blue, a pandemic of epic proportions, quarantines, school closures, sports cancellations, postponed primaries...followed by murder hornets, protests, wildfires, hurricanes, fire tornadoes…and worst of all, death--lots of it, job losses, endless bread lines, potential foreclosures, and financial ruin for many...all piled up in a big heap, bringing everything to a standstill. The old saying that the only things in this life that are a certainty are death and taxes never hit more close to home. So here we are: at the crossroads of hope and uncertainty. What now? How do we merge these two seemingly divergent paths into one? How do we maintain hope amid all this chaotic uncertainty?

First, let’s take a step back to consider just why confronting uncertainty is so uncomfortable for most of us. Perhaps it’s because it threatens our need to feel in control. If we can’t see a roadblock up ahead, we can’t take an alternate route or steer around it to our advantage. Right now, most of us are just wondering when...when schools and businesses will reopen; when we’ll get financial relief; when a vaccine will be available that can allow us to resume something resembling normalcy. It’s hard to keep up with all the unexpected twists, turns and detours on Rt. 2020. Nevertheless, there are still three very crucial things that do remain totally within our control, should we choose to exert it. Let’s start there:

Self-Care 
Whether you are ill (from anything) or fit as a fiddle, the choices you make about caring for yourself will affect how you feel both physically and mentally. Tune in to your body, as well as your soul, and make changes in any of the following areas, if necessary, to improve your well-being:

• Eating well gives you the right kind of fuel for fighting an illness or working extra hours to put food on the table. Putting the right kind of gas in your tank energizes you and lifts your spirits.
• Getting enough rest allows your brain to focus more easily on the tasks and responsibilities you face without burning you out.
• Exercising regularly lowers your stress levels, helps you sleep better, and increases your energy for confronting the challenges ahead of you.
• Wearing a mask, hand washing and social distancing protects you and others around you from the dangers of potential infection. Just as importantly, you’ll be doing something proactive to help restore public health, which is empowering. Your mask can transform you from a victim into a superhero!
• Finding your center recharges you and allows you to keep moving ahead. Whether that's snuggles with the kiddos/spouse, walks alone, a long hot soak in the tub, or prayer/meditation, finding and tending to your center is essential self-care.

    
Attitude
Whether you are quarantining alone or with others, your overall attitude plays a major role in your ability to cope with your situation. Keeping your outlook positive despite your circumstances will not only boost your own spirits, it can become a beacon of hope for others who may need a reminder of all the goodness still surrounding us. Attitude is how your perspective and priorities dictate how you interface with the world around you.

• Keeping a positive perspective means choosing to see whatever hardships you may be facing as merely a temporary setback instead of an insurmountable obstacle. Just as with forming any new habit, focusing on the positives instead of the negatives takes effort at the start but becomes easier over time. Starting a gratitude journal is an excellent way to change your daily perspective. There’s always something to be grateful for, no matter how down on your luck you may be in that moment. Challenging yourself to write it down brings it into sharper focus where you can fully appreciate it.
• Prioritizing the common good over self offers you a golden opportunity to become a better person while helping others at the same time. Whether you’re volunteering at a soup kitchen, mentoring a young person struggling in school, donating food or money for the unemployed, or working extra hours as an essential worker, prioritizing your contribution to the greater good gives you a sense of purpose, of belonging to something bigger than yourself in a way that benefits everyone. Who doesn’t want that? 

Actions
Whether you are working multiple jobs as an essential worker, furloughed at home desperately seeking employment, or finding yourself in the unexpected role of homeschooling parent, your actions are always a matter of choice and thus totally under your control. How well are your actions reflecting the attitude you want to convey? Are you eating junk food on the sofa, yelling at the other side’s politicians on TV, wallowing in gloom, self-pity and self-loathing, or are you reaching out to make a positive impact, using your available time to engage in proper self-care, helping others, hopeful thinking, and positive self-talk? The choice is yours. Make a good one.

Let's face it: this has been a difficult year so far and the only thing we can be certain of is that yet more uncertainty surely lies around the next corner. But by staying focused on the things that are still within your control, even confronting uncertainty with hope intact can be easy peasy.

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Space truly is the final frontier! Everyone seems to be on an endless quest for it...for space in their homes...on their desks...in their busy lives! Yet it eludes most of us. Just as soon as we find some....poof! It’s gone and the search begins anew. But what if instead of spending all of our space, we kept some of it….empty?!! Today, I’m making a case for space!
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First, how is empty space even useful?

• It increases easy accessibility. The things you use every day will be easier to access and put away if you have less stuff cluttering up your cabinets, closets and drawers. Think of it as room to breathe for the stuff you keep.
• It creates a sense of visual peace. Blank spaces cut down on visual noise, leaving you feeling calmer, more relaxed, and more in control of your environment.
• It makes life simpler. More space means less stuff, which in turn means less overhead. You have less to clean, less to declutter, less to tidy, less to decide what to do with, less to move around in order to make room...all leaving you with more time, more money and more energy. 

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Preserving your empty space boils down to choosing space over stuff. You may be asking...if empty space is so valuable, then why do people tend to choose stuff over space? Good question! Clients usually call me when their lack of space begins causing a problem in their lives. They are aware that they need more space, yet still seem compelled to fill it back up again when given the opportunity. Why? Here are some of the most common reasons, along with my counterpoint for each one: Do any of these sound familiar?
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Fear of being without something you may need (clothes, paper towels, shoes, serving dishes).
Counterpoint: If you run out of something, you can go shopping, do laundry, borrow from a neighbor, order online. If none of these are possible, you will likely find a way to make do in an emergency. Such emergencies will be very rare and far outweighed by the everyday benefits of having more space. Think up a back-up plan in advance if that makes you feel less afraid to part with something. (Personal aside: At the beginning of the COVID-19 crisis when toilet paper was difficult to find, I came up with multiple contingency plans for if/when we ran out. I never had to use any of them, but now that I have them, I don’t feel a need to use up my valuable space hoarding toilet paper.)

Avoiding a deep-seated (and usually misplaced) perception of poverty and/or a misperception of “wealth”. 
Counterpoint: Having more stuff doesn’t make you rich. It  actually costs you more in the long run. Would you rather be “rich” in stuff that gets in your way, or rich in time and energy that can be spent on having new and meaningful experiences, learning more about the world, and forging/maintaining important relationships? Which will matter more at the end of your life? Remember, that old adage “You can’t take it with you” refers to your material wealth, aka your "stuff".

Unwillingness to make choices (aka decision deferral).
Counterpoint: Making decisions gets easier and quicker with practice and takes less time when you do it on a daily basis. Developing a habit of making decisions in the moment takes effort but will pay huge dividends in the long run.

Need to fill up the other aspects of life that feel empty (relationships, self-esteem, productivity, sense of control).
Counterpoint: Space gives us freedom. We need space to live in, move in, fill up with the people and activities that bring us joy. When we do that, we will not feel emptiness; we will feel fulfilled.

So how do we create and maintain empty space?
Simple: Choose space over stuff. Now that you understand the value of empty space and why you may have chosen stuff instead in the past, it will be easier to  make more intentional decisions in the future. There are three key components to this:

1. Slow down acquisitions. Think about spending your space the same way you think about spending your money. Realize that you can only spend it on one thing so spend it wisely. Decide in advance where you will store it and what you will get rid of to maintain or increase your current amount of empty space. If you haven’t figured that out yet, let the store or warehouse continue to store it for you until you do. It’s not a “great deal” if it means you have to spend space you don’t want to spend in order to save money.
2. Make decluttering a regular routine. Just like cutting the grass, washing your hair, or doing laundry, getting rid of things you no longer need/use is an ongoing, necessary task. The more often you do it, the less time and effort it takes. Creating a regular routine will make it a habit you no longer have to think too much about, just like brushing your teeth every day. Just do it.
3. Become a decider. Develop a habit of making decisions immediately instead of putting them off. This is the single, most-effective change you can make to take and retain control over your environment and your life. Every purchase...Every piece of mail..Every coupon...Every “freebie”...It all comes with decisions attached. The longer you wait to make the decision, the greater your danger of losing control over your time, space, money and energy.

Capturing space and keeping it requires some bold changes. Then again, so did sending a man to the moon. Are you ready to face the final frontier?
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With a little conscious decision-making and a few good habits, even holding onto empty space can be easy peasy!

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The most stressful time of day in my home is late afternoon/early evening during the week. That's when I'm typically running from here to there, picking up one kid or the other from practice or rehearsal...sometimes  both. There's homework to get started, after-school anxieties to unwind, and often other types of social drama to smooth out. And on top of everything else...dinner. I call it the witching hour. Thankfully, (to quote Elizabeth Warren) "I've got a plan for that". If you're struggling with dinnertime stress too, a weekly meal plan is a must!

Having a plan in place for anything will eliminate a great deal of stress from your life, and meal planning is no different. It allows you to do all the thinking required at a time of your choosing, rather than forcing you to figure out a solution when your brainpower is already stretched to the limit. Aside from reducing your stress, meal planning:

• Reduces food waste
• Makes grocery shopping quicker and simpler
• Allows more variety 
• Promotes healthier eating
• Saves money
• Puts you in control

Contrary to what you may think, meal planning really doesn't take that much time or effort once you have a system that becomes a routine.

Step 1: Gather your meal ideas
Note that I say "ideas", because for those of you who don't enjoy cooking, the word "recipes" may be scary. Rest assured that meal planning does not require you to become the new Gordon Ramsey. You don't need complicated recipes or fancy knife skills...just a list of the things you like to eat for dinner. For those who do enjoy working with recipes, your idea list should include your recipe source, whether it be a URL, Pinterest post, cookbook, magazine or one of Grandma's handwritten recipe cards. The key is to be able to find it easily when you need it. (Be sure to include page numbers on your list too, where appropriate.) 

If you have picky eaters in your home, selecting recipes that can be easily modified to suit everyone will save you time and effort. Remember, you are not a short-order cook! Ask your family for feedback and ditch the recipes no one likes. Note the recipes that are more time-consuming or complicated so that you avoid them on busy nights. Keep building and adjusting your list as you go.

Step 2: Plan around your calendar and refrigerator
Pick a day each week to do your meal planning. Look at your calendar for the week ahead to see which days will be your busiest and require a make-ahead or quick meal. Which nights are you having company or planning a special meal? Also check the refrigerator and freezer to see what ingredients need to be used up before they go bad and plan to incorporate these into your plan. Take advantage of shortcuts on busy nights, like buying precut veggies or partially-made components. You can still wow your guests with a "homemade" pie made from store-bought pie crust you bake yourself! Or use your own homemade, make-ahead mixes for some of your favorites. (Get recipes and instructions for some of my favorite homemade mixes!)

Step 3: Write it all down in one place
Write down your dinner menu for each night in one central place. Your plan should include:

• Entree
• Recipe source, if needed
• Sides/Dessert
• Advance preparation required (prepping vegetables, setting up the crockpot, thawing meat, etc.)
• Heating instructions (if using  pre-made dishes)
• Ingredients you need to buy

Consult your plan each morning to ensure you are prepared. Even if you plan to order/eat out one night, put that in your plan too. Planning ahead could mean the difference between a healthy rotisserie chicken and bagged salad from the grocery store when there's no time to cook, or a panicked, last-minute dash through the drive-through you may regret later.

Tip: Always plan an extra "back-up" meal for nights when nothing goes according to plan and you need a quick and easy save. This meal should rely on pantry or freezer staples you know you'll have on hand. (My favorite back-up meal is Broccoli Soup.) It should be quick to prepare and not require advance preparation.

Step 4: Shop for your plan
As you compose your meal plan, create your shopping list at the same time. Include all ingredients you will need to make the meals you've selected for the week and add breakfast, lunch and snack items. Shop once to save time. Take your plan with you to the store in case they are out of an essential ingredient and you need to make a substitution. (Don't forget to note changes on your written plan.)

A tool like the downloadable EasyPeasy Meal Planner PDF can help you get started. It may feel a little ovewhelming at first, but once you are in the habit of meal planning each week, it will become second-nature and will require only a small investment of your time. You'll wonder how you ever managed without a plan!

With a little forethought and planning, even feeding your hungriest crowd will be easy peasy.