Could it be that it was only eight short months ago when we were ringing in the new year and ushering in a brand-new, shiny decade full of hope? The anticipation of the coming U.S. presidential election and Olympic Summer Games energized the country and the world. In our house, it was the beginning of the countdown to our first-born starting her senior year of high school in September and turning 18 in October. Our son was eagerly awaiting a summer of hard training for his next vigorous cross country season in the Fall. My organizing business was finally booming and my husband’s career humming along very nicely. 2020 promised to be a banner year for the Sheridan family. 

Then BAM! Seemingly out of the blue, a pandemic of epic proportions, quarantines, school closures, sports cancellations, postponed primaries...followed by murder hornets, protests, wildfires, hurricanes, fire tornadoes…and worst of all, death--lots of it, job losses, endless bread lines, potential foreclosures, and financial ruin for many...all piled up in a big heap, bringing everything to a standstill. The old saying that the only things in this life that are a certainty are death and taxes never hit more close to home. So here we are: at the crossroads of hope and uncertainty. What now? How do we merge these two seemingly divergent paths into one? How do we maintain hope amid all this chaotic uncertainty?

First, let’s take a step back to consider just why confronting uncertainty is so uncomfortable for most of us. Perhaps it’s because it threatens our need to feel in control. If we can’t see a roadblock up ahead, we can’t take an alternate route or steer around it to our advantage. Right now, most of us are just wondering when...when schools and businesses will reopen; when we’ll get financial relief; when a vaccine will be available that can allow us to resume something resembling normalcy. It’s hard to keep up with all the unexpected twists, turns and detours on Rt. 2020. Nevertheless, there are still three very crucial things that do remain totally within our control, should we choose to exert it. Let’s start there:

Self-Care 
Whether you are ill (from anything) or fit as a fiddle, the choices you make about caring for yourself will affect how you feel both physically and mentally. Tune in to your body, as well as your soul, and make changes in any of the following areas, if necessary, to improve your well-being:

• Eating well gives you the right kind of fuel for fighting an illness or working extra hours to put food on the table. Putting the right kind of gas in your tank energizes you and lifts your spirits.
• Getting enough rest allows your brain to focus more easily on the tasks and responsibilities you face without burning you out.
• Exercising regularly lowers your stress levels, helps you sleep better, and increases your energy for confronting the challenges ahead of you.
• Wearing a mask, hand washing and social distancing protects you and others around you from the dangers of potential infection. Just as importantly, you’ll be doing something proactive to help restore public health, which is empowering. Your mask can transform you from a victim into a superhero!
• Finding your center recharges you and allows you to keep moving ahead. Whether that's snuggles with the kiddos/spouse, walks alone, a long hot soak in the tub, or prayer/meditation, finding and tending to your center is essential self-care.

    
Attitude
Whether you are quarantining alone or with others, your overall attitude plays a major role in your ability to cope with your situation. Keeping your outlook positive despite your circumstances will not only boost your own spirits, it can become a beacon of hope for others who may need a reminder of all the goodness still surrounding us. Attitude is how your perspective and priorities dictate how you interface with the world around you.

• Keeping a positive perspective means choosing to see whatever hardships you may be facing as merely a temporary setback instead of an insurmountable obstacle. Just as with forming any new habit, focusing on the positives instead of the negatives takes effort at the start but becomes easier over time. Starting a gratitude journal is an excellent way to change your daily perspective. There’s always something to be grateful for, no matter how down on your luck you may be in that moment. Challenging yourself to write it down brings it into sharper focus where you can fully appreciate it.
• Prioritizing the common good over self offers you a golden opportunity to become a better person while helping others at the same time. Whether you’re volunteering at a soup kitchen, mentoring a young person struggling in school, donating food or money for the unemployed, or working extra hours as an essential worker, prioritizing your contribution to the greater good gives you a sense of purpose, of belonging to something bigger than yourself in a way that benefits everyone. Who doesn’t want that? 

Actions
Whether you are working multiple jobs as an essential worker, furloughed at home desperately seeking employment, or finding yourself in the unexpected role of homeschooling parent, your actions are always a matter of choice and thus totally under your control. How well are your actions reflecting the attitude you want to convey? Are you eating junk food on the sofa, yelling at the other side’s politicians on TV, wallowing in gloom, self-pity and self-loathing, or are you reaching out to make a positive impact, using your available time to engage in proper self-care, helping others, hopeful thinking, and positive self-talk? The choice is yours. Make a good one.

Let's face it: this has been a difficult year so far and the only thing we can be certain of is that yet more uncertainty surely lies around the next corner. But by staying focused on the things that are still within your control, even confronting uncertainty with hope intact can be easy peasy.

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If you think about it, parenting is a huge responsibility to all of society. It's not enough just to keep your kids safe and loved, educate them, and help them transition into self-sufficiency. One of the most important, meaningful, and never-ending aspects of parenting is inspiring your offspring to make the world a better place and play a role in advancing the human race. 

As long as you are breathing, you are either taking from the world, or giving back to it. Teaching your child how to give back is one of the biggest ways you continue to give back. As most parents know, what you do has a greater impact on your kids than what you say. They will be watching as you teach by modeling learning...say something important by listening intently...receive fulfillment by giving away your time and treasure to a cause greater than yourself...and make your voice heard by amplifying the voices of others. This isn't difficult to do, but it doesn't just happen on its own. It requires intention. And it's never too early to start.

Look for ways you and your children can listen and learn together.
Show your kids that learning is a lifelong process. Explore the world beyond your own gate. Go to museums; read books; pay attention to current events; learn about history, religion and cultures outside of your own. Forge relationships with others from diverse backgrounds. Ask grandparents to share stories of their past experiences and personal struggles. All of this enables your children to put themselves in other people's shoes and develop an empathy and compassion that is crucial to improving the world for everyone.

Model the behaviors you want your kids to emulate.
Demonstrate what it means to be a good citizen. Take them with you to vote. Talk to them about the electoral process. Describe your volunteer work. Tell them about the causes you support and why you chose to make them a priority. Discuss age-appropriate current events at the dinner table. Invite friends and co-workers from diverse backgrounds to your home and visit them in theirs when invited. Introduce your children to food, customs, holidays and traditions from other cultures. Read the paper and educational magazines both in front of them and to them. Let them witness your continuing education about the world around you. Share with them about a time you changed your stance on an issue after listening to the other side's arguments. It's important for them to see that beliefs and priorities can evolve as you continue to learn and seek out new perspectives.

Encourage them to get involved.
Plan a summer project or field trip your family can do around giving back to the community. Participate in family-friendly volunteer events. Encourage them to give gifts that support a cause or to opt out of receiving gifts themselves and instead set up a fundraiser for a cause near to their hearts. Support them in a run for student council office. Enroll them in scouts, youth groups, or other organizations that center activities around serving others. Share with them what other kids are doing and nurture their creativity in finding ways they can offer their own unique skills and talents to the world.

There's no shortage of examples, but here are just a few more of my favorites:

• Several years ago, my son's friend requested that guests to his 9th birthday party make a donation to the Wounded Warrior Fund in lieu of giving him presents. My son wanted to be able to give him a tangible gift in addition to the donation we made, so he used his budding journalistic skills to write a pretend "newspaper" article about what his friend was doing and why. He printed it out, framed it, and gave it to his friend as a memento of his 9th birthday and an expression of admiration for his friend's generosity.

 

• My two teenagers set aside a portion of their allowances each month, which they donate to the nonprofit of their choice during the holidays in honor of their teachers. My husband and I match their donations. This not only teaches them the importance of contributing to causes that are important to them, but also enables them to learn about various worthy organizations as they research where they want to send their money. 

 

• A family friend's young daughter wanted to find a way to help people she saw begging at intersections without merely giving them money. She and her mom purchased individually-wrapped snacks and other essential items and assembled care packs to keep in the car and hand out the car window when they encountered someone in need.

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• A few years ago, several members of my local community planned a family potluck "Diversity Dinner" for neighbors to get to know each other and celebrate the wide array of cultures represented in our local area. Attendees came from a broad spectrum of races, religions and cultures. Everyone was encouraged to bring a favorite traditional dish, as well as a canned food donation for the local food pantry, and to sit with someone they didn't already know. The kids each traced their hands on colored paper and cut the handprints out to become leaves on a community tree poster. The group then took a candlelight walk around the neighborhood, in which all neighbors were invited to participate to foster a sense of inclusivity. My kids each made new friends that night who attended their school but whom they hadn't previously met!

Every voice matters. Even the smallest effort can make the biggest difference to one person. Empower your children from a young age to become the change they wish to see in the world. Download and print out the Raise Good Citizens PDF to get started.

With a little bit of contagious enthusiasm and the desire to keep learning, growing and contributing, even raising good citizens can be easy peasy.

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