I never used to be an anxious person, but parenthood and home ownership changed all that. And then Covid happened. Stress and anxiety seem to have set up a permanent residence in my life, but that doesn’t mean I have to allow them to make themselves comfortable here. Understanding what feeds them helps me keep them in check.
For me, it’s all about control (or a lack thereof), so it should come as no surprise that I’ve learned to use my organizational skills to my advantage. When my house is tidy, I can focus and I don’t lose things. When I have dinner already planned, it’s one less thing for me to worry about. Maintaining lists of all sorts (shopping, to-do, projects, etc.) ensures fewer things fall through the cracks, and keeping a strong grasp on my schedule means I am better able to control my time. I wasn’t always this organized...it happened gradually over many years as I realized how much better having everything in order made me feel.
Facing the unknown is another trigger. Worrying about how much a home or car repair will cost, fear of not knowing how to accomplish an important task, anxiety over what a future situation will look like so that I can be adequately prepared (especially when it comes to my kids) are the things that keep me tossing and turning in bed. Experience has taught me that research is my friend. The sooner I learn the answers to my many questions, the sooner I can relax. Sure, I can worry that I won’t be able to pay for a new air conditioner, but maybe I don’t actually need a new air conditioner. And if I do, I can research the various options for financing it until I find one that will work for me. Knowledge leads the way in finding workable solutions to the things we all worry about.
Background noise, distractions, and the physical aches and pains that accompany old age have also become bigger issues for me in recent years. I’m not able to do as much physical work in one stretch as I used to be able to do, and sometimes this creates stress, especially when time is of the essence. Finding ways to recharge my batteries, improve my focus and soothe my senses relieves tension and makes me more productive in the long run.
I’m learning that it takes a lot of energy and effort not to slide down the slippery slope into negative thinking. Focusing on the half of the glass that is full instead of the half that’s empty takes practice. How I talk to myself matters. Occasionally I need an injection of positivity from outside sources. Maintaining healthy, supportive relationships that build me up instead of tearing me down keeps me on a positive trajectory. I look for inspiration and motivation from the experiences of others. And a bit of humor goes a long way in reminding me not to take it all too seriously.
Realizing each of these triggers, I’ve identified four primary ways to quiet my stress and anxiety when they become too unruly:
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Valerie Sheridan is a professional organizer, wife, mother of two, and Founder/Owner of EasyPeasy Living.